THE GREY # 9-2012

I had told myself that I was not going to see this movie.  I didn’t want to and I see almost everything.  Man battling wolves after a plane crash with glass taped to his knuckles - I pass.  Then, on Friday morning, Carson Reeves (ScriptShadow), tells everyone to leave work early and catch this flick - proclaiming that the screenplay was awesome (that’s not a direct quote, but I think I caught the gist).  So, I went.

I should have spent the two hours reading the screenplay.  There are just no surprises in these survival movies.  What do we know about this movie going in?  They survive a plane crash in Alaska (where it is very cold) and are being chased by a pack of not hungry, but angry, wolves.  So, you can die by plane crash, exposure or as wolf bait.

I felt like Liam Neeson was Captain Kirk and the other survivors all wore red uniforms.  A red uniform in Star Trek meant that you were marked for death.  When all the red uniforms are used up, the alpha human, Liam Neeson, must have a final showdown with the alpha wolf, The Grey (which looked black by the way)(face it black is scarier).

The Grey reminded me of another so-so survival movie, The Edge, starring Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin.  In The Edge, they must survive a plane crash, in a snowy wilderness and avoid being eaten by a bear.  Wait a minute, was this just a rewrite with wolves?  If memory serves, the stakes were higher in that flick because both men lusted after Elle Macpherson.

Liam Neeson is a great actor, but i’m tired.  I’m tired of seeing him chase after women.  In Taken, his daughter.  In Unknown, his wife.  And here, the memory of his wife.  This movie needed a love interest.  The three female characters didn’t have names:  flight attendant, bartender and Ottway’s wife.

The tagline for The Grey was “Live or die on this day” and is repeated throughout the movie.  Do we have a choice?  Live or die, there’s nothing in between in my book.  Does Liam Neeson “live or die on this day,” presumably yes?

Well, I’m going to head over to check out the ScriptShadow and see if the movie lived up to his expectations.  I’ll throw The Edge three out of five airplanes.

MAN ON A LEDGE # 8-2012

Frankly, I went into MAN ON A LEDGE, with a bad attitude.  Contained thrillers often seem, well, contained.  I don’t consider Liberty Stands Still and Phone Booth classics.  I received what I expected, nothing more, nothing less.

This is a classic example of the trailer giving away too much.  It’s not uncommon for the trailer to tease the first fifteen minutes of a movie and throw in a stunt or two.  Then you’re left with the bulk of the movie to be discovered.    Mission Impossible:  Ghost Protocol had a great trailer.  They gave us lots of action and stunts, but not much of a hint as to story.  The Man on a Ledge trailer gives you the entire plot.  Man goes on a ledge as a diversion for revenge.  That’s it - just add a couple of stunts and you have a movie.

The acting was top notch.  Sam Worthington makes a fantastic man on a ledge.  You believe he just might jump.  Elizabeth Banks shines as the officer assigned to talk Worthington off the ledge, despite the awkward hanging out the window to do her work.  A couple of my favorites make appearances.  Ed Burns plays a cop and Ed Harris weighs in as our bad guy.  The eye candy, Genesis Rodriguez, does not disappoint.

No spoiler alert for this one - the trailer did that for me.  There are a couple of times where the filmmaker cheats and things come just a little to easy - the final scene in the safe for example.  All in all, I rate this movie three of five airplanes. 

RED TAILS # 7-2012

Red Tails surprised me.  George Lucas Executive Produces this tale inspired by the Tuskegee airmen of World War II.  The visual effects were much more realistic in the film than the trailer, which to me looked a little hokey.  The story revolves around an all African-American squadron of airmen who must not only fight the Nazi's, but also battle superiors in a racially divided military.  When finally given their chance to prove themselves by protecting bombers over Germany, their bravery and heroics shine through.

It seems as though a theme is developing lately in my reviews regarding casting and acting.  Terrence Howard and Cuba Gooding, Jr. are relegated to supporting rolls as the squadron's commander and executive officer.  This leaves, let's say, lesser known actors to carry the day and they fall short.  Both in their early forties, Howard and Gooding could have easily taken the leads as squadron leader and his defiant best friend.   Their Oscar nominated and winning performances (Hustle and Flow and Jerry Maguire) were much needed in these two roles.

Why do directors of WWII aviation movies require (or allow) an actor to smoke a pipe?  Not a scene passes that Gooding is not jamming a Sherlock Holmes looking pipe in his mouth.  Ridiculous.  In my brief military flying career, I never once saw a pipe hanging from someone's mouth or anywhere else for that matter.  My service was many years after WWII, but trust me when I say, the military hadn't changed much.  Forget the ridiculous personal props already.

This story somehow gets from point A to point B just fine.  I say "somehow" because the dialog coming from these guys' mouths was terrible.  These lines were right on the nose.  We would be seeing an action on the screen and someone would be telling us about it.  General movie rule, show it, don't tell it.  Example, one airman is shot up pretty bad and the decision is made to bailout, but his canopy will not open.  We see him struggle with the lever, but no use.  We get it.  He is stuck.  But if we didn't get it, the squadron leader pipes in with something like this:  That canopy is the only thing that stands between you and death.  Brilliant.

Most should wait for the DVD, but because it is aviation, I will rate it a friendly three of five airplanes.

HAYWIRE # 6-2012

I watched this film in the all new Regal Premium Experience (RPX).  The bigger screen, higher quality sound and better seats made for a nice experience overall.  The bottom line is that this is Regal’s answer to the IMAX - you pay a premium for the premium.

Stephen Soderbergh brings Haywire to the big screen.  Soderbergh is a master of the double cross.  We’ve seen it repeatedly in the Ocean’s series.  Here, Mallory (Gina Carano), super agent for a private contractor, completes a successful hostage rescue mission of some important Chinese dude.  Mallory, however, becomes suspicious that a problem looms, when one of her fellow super agents attempts to kill her.  Twists and turns lead to MMA style fight scenes in exotic locations around the world.  The battle culminates in a show down in where else but - New Mexico?

Soderbergh pulls together a cast replete with A-list actors, anyone of which could issue Mallory’s kill order.  Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas and Ewan McGregor all do fine work.  We didn’t see enough of these guys.  Scott (Michael Angarano), does nothing to further the plot, not sure why he was even there.  Channing Tatum, I am not a fan.  In every role, his facial expression is exactly the same - that of someone with diminished intelligence because they were hit in the head with a 2 x 4 as a child.  Ladies, muscles are not enough to make a star.

With all this super star power, I can’t figure out why Soderbergh chose Gina Carano to carry his $25,000,000 budget film.  Carano holds her own, but she lacks the IT factor.  Part of the problem is that she looks like she can kick your ass.  (Similar problem with Paula Patton in Mission Impossible).  I don’t want my super hero chicks all buffed up.  I like the juxtaposition of the waifish hot chick, who surprisingly kicks ass despite her limited size.  Examples:  Kate Beckinsale (Selene), Milla Jovovich (Alice) and Maggie Q (Zhen Lei).

Overall, there are some fine fight scenes, but the plot is a little squirrelly.  I rate this three of five airplanes.

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING #5-2012

I know, I know.  This was one of my most anticipated films for the month of January.  I came away a little disappointed.  Caught it in 3D, but only because of timing.  3D remains a joke (and the joke is on audiences).

Kate Beckinsale returns in the fourth installment of Underworld as Selene, a death dealer.  For those of you not familiar with Underworld, I consider it to be the original vampire/werewolf mashup (before Twilight), complete with hybrid vampwolves.  I’ve seen each movie in this series several times over the years.

Kate makes for a great action hero.  I never get tired of seeing her with a gun in her hand.  Luckily, the brooding Scott Speedman, if it is even him, is scarce.  In previous installments, his acting was the weak link.  IMDB doesn’t have a credit listed for his character Michael, Selene’s hybrid love interest.

SPOILER ALERT:  This movie is a mess.  Humans take over the planet and exterminate lycans and vampires into near extension.  They capture Selene and turn her into an ice cube for twelve years.  But wait, her captors aren’t humans!  Those pesky lycans have made a deal with the devil (or humans) and created a vaccine that makes them immune to silver and allows them to heal instantly.  A welcome side affect, lycans grow bigger and stronger than ever before.  Stephen Rae plays the head of the scientific werewolves.  I typically like his performances, but he sleep walks through this one.  

The plot:  Michael springs Selene from her icy coffin, or so she thinks.  Turns out, a lot happened in those 12 sleepy years.  Selene and Michael have offspring, Eve, yes another hybrid.  Mother, daughter and the few remaining vamps battle these sneaky werewolves with the help of a human, blah, blah, blah. 

I love this series, but I must say wait for the DVD.  I rate Underworld:  Awakening two of five airplanes.

CONTRABAND # 4-2012

When Kate’s (Kate Beckinsale) brother botches a drug smuggling job for Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), her husband Chris (Mark Wahlberg) a retired smuggler swoops in for the rescue.  Chris comes out of retirement to do a job that will get his brother-in-law off the hook with Briggs.  Chris goes to prison to meet with his dad, a convicted smuggler, so that his dad can pull a few strings and get him work on a crooked container ship, with a crooked captain and a crooked crew.

The job, smuggle in $15 million in uncut U.S. counterfeit currency.  So, off goes Chris, the brother-in-law and a make shift crew to Panama.  Chris’ friend Sebastian (Ben Foster) stays behind to take care of Kate and the kids.  Once they get to Panama, nothing goes as planned.  The currency is not up to Chris’ standards, so he must go see a bad dude for a higher quality counterfeit. In the middle of the deal, Chris’ brother-in-law gets orders from Briggs to take the buy money to a drug dealer instead.  That leaves Chris holding the bag.  So, Chris goes off on an armored car robbery with the bad dude that coincidentally is happening right now.  The armored car heist, for a Jackson Pollack painting, goes bad.  Everyone is killed but Chris and his crew.  Chris escapes with the $15 million and the Pollack painting.  Kate’s brother also makes a successful drug buy.  Chris gets it all back to the states, but how he does it is a little fuzzy.

SPOILER ALERT:  Along the way, we discover that Kate’s brother and now Chris, owes Briggs.  Briggs owes Sebastian.  (Briggs and Sebastian both want to get up with Kate).  Sebastian owes some other higher-up dude.  After a series of double triple and quadruple crosses, Chris sells the $15 million, gets an appraisal on the Jackson Pollack and gets Briggs caught by the cops with the drugs all in time to save Kate from a Jimmy Hoffa burial (she has the loudest cell phone ring on earth - it can be heard over the sound of a running cement mixer from 40 yards).

Giovanni Ribisi gives another fine performance.  Playing the drug dealer who lives in the projects is right in his wheel house.  Kate Beckinsale was great (in a somewhat limited role) and Mark Wahlberg held his own.  Contraband falls short because everything falls into place too easily.  Chris is able to get a spot on the ship.  Chris survives a multiple machine gun shootout while riding in the back of a pick-up truck.  Not only do they come away with the money they went to Panama for, they also came back with the Pollack (worth $20 million on the black market) and the drugs.  Chris was able to get the drugs off the boat without anyone finding out, even the audience.  

I go to a movie like this to eat popcorn and be entertained.  Was I entertained?  Somewhat.  For a January 13th release, should I have expected more?  Probably not.  I give Contraband two out of five airplanes.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy # 3-2012

Critics are crazy.  I totally missed the boat on this one.  Perhaps what they were selling was so secret that I didn’t know where to buy it.  A mission goes wrong and a spy is shot and presumably killed, but we find out later that he was just wounded.  He was tortured (which we don’t see) by bad guys until he gave up all the secrets.  They release him and he comes home and teaches at the local private school.

The spy leader and Smiley, Gary Oldman, are summarily fired over the botched mission.  But Smiley doesn’t give up.  He solves the whole deal on his chess board at home.  He has a flunky go do all his evidence gathering for him, so he’s never in peril.  SPOILER ALERT:  Smiley solves the mystery - it’s Colin Firth (Bill) the only bad guy without a code name.  My recollection is that he had about five minutes in the film total until he is found out at the end.  Smiley takes Control.

This is a Cold War spy movie - spy is in the title.  The characters have nicknames - the nicknames are also conveniently in the title Tinker, Tailor and Soldier.  Actually, everything had a code name.  Spy headquarters - the Circus.  Spy leader - Control.  The mission - Witchcraft.  

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is a snoozer.  The grainy film texture (sort of like the poster) is distracting.  Perhaps the director, Tomas Alfredson, was trying to give it that 1960‘s feel - it didn’t work.  There are too many long walks without purpose.  No conflict.  Little action.  And as I noted earlier, Oldman’s character never risks anything.  Tinker is a stinker, one of five airplanes.

Showtime - Sunday Night Premiers

SHAMELESS is back for its second season.  The premier left little doubt that the chaos will continue this year.  Fiona (Emmy Rossum) wrangles multiple jobs, men and sibs, not to mention Frank.  Frank (William H. Macy) loses Liam in a bet (sort of).  Lip (Jeremy Allen White) hosts a fight club.  Kevin (Steve Howey) grows a basement full of pot, running up an $8,000.00 electric bill, a portion of which Fiona uses to ransom Liam.  The list of crazies just goes on and on.  I really enjoyed season 1, and with this cast, it is a must watch this season.

CALIFORNICATION returns for Hank’s (David Duchovny) continued spiral into infinite troubles.  Our intrepid traveler eases into a situation like a punch in the face, but always accepts the punishments that he deserves with an aloofness unmatched by any character in history.  Hank learns the lessons that most of us mastered at the age of 5.  In this episode, Hank returns from New York looking to stir things up with his ex, his daughter and a potentially new writing assignment. The first seasons of Californication were dynamite, but it now lacks the emotion between Hank and Karen (Natascha McElhone) that drove the show.  I’ll continue to watch like a rubbernecker at a traffic accident.

What to say about the pilot for HOU$E OF LIE$?  Unfortunately, Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell will not save this one - just an opinion.  The show is sort of a MAD MEN without subtlety or nuance or anything else that makes MAD MEN a good watch.  Someone must have run into a consultant that they really hated and wanted to stick it in there face.  Maybe Marty Kaan (Cheadle) is based upon this real life person.  Take every a**hole trait that you could slide into a human being and you’ve got Marty.  But we are supposed to believe that he is a good dad, because the kids’ mother played by Dawn Olivieri is every bad trait of a man and a woman rolled into one person.  The premise for the pilot is how do we sleazy consultants ripoff what we perceive to be an even sleazier bank ran by idiots and make them feel like they are getting something for the exorbitant fee we charge.  I know, let’s sell them on “loan amnesty.”  Sorry, House of Lies just not my cup of tea.

Note:  If you missed the first season of HOMELAND starring Claire Danes on Showtime, definitely take the time to catch-up.

Shame # 2-2012

I drove 20 miles each way to view my second movie of the year at the theatre, the highly praised Shame, (NC-17), starring current Hollywood darlings Michael Fassbender (Brandon) and Carey Mulligan (Sissy).  Brandon lives alone in his beautiful high rise apartment overlooking some equally beautiful body of water in New York City.  Living alone suits Brandon just fine because he is a sex addict.  He can call a prostitute, watch webcam porn and masturbate in the shower without interruption.


All of this changes when Sissy, his sister, shows up unexpectedly and helps herself to a shower in which Brandon of course walks in on.  Even though they never see each other, Brandon has made her a set of keys and she just let herself into the apartment.  She needs a place to stay and Brandon reluctantly agrees.  


Brandon and Sissy guard some sort of secret from the past.  No, I don't know the secret and it is neither explored or revealed in the film.  According to Sissy "we are not bad people, we just come from a bad place."  I would like to say this movie is the deep penetration into the soul of one dealing with addiction, but its not.  It's a movie that time and time again illustrates his condition, but we never know how or why Brandon is this way.  Ironically, the only time that he fails to perform in the film is when he meets a nice girl from the office.  I guess she was just too nice to drag into his world.


Now, I mentioned his performances and I don't want to soft sell that point because director Steve McQueen drove it home.  There are many, and I wasn't taking notes so I may miss a few:  Brandon with a prostitute, Brandon with a prostitute, Brandon masturbates in shower, Brandon masturbates at the office, Brandon walks in on a naked Sissy, Sissy walks in on a masturbating Brandon, Brandon screws a girl in the alley, he has two prostitutes at their place, his porn is discovered on his office computer and he goes to a gay club which is replete with back rooms for amorous activity.  


Brandon slips off the edge and makes a pass at a young lady in a bar, which earns him a beating out back.  Down on his luck, he goes on one last sexual rampage.  After a full night of sex, lightbulb, Brandon must rush home to Sissy who clearly needs him.  Unfortunately, he arrives to find Sissy bleeding out on the bathroom floor.  Sissy was a cutter, but this time she went a little too deep.  Luckily, Sissy is saved and Brandon seems happy.  But will he slip back into his old ways?


Recommending this film would be like suggesting your favorite porn film to your best friends wife - not appropriate (in most circles).  McQueen delivers on one of my biggest pet peeves and that is don't tell me that the movie is about sex and leave out the sex.  There's plenty of sex here, but unfortunately that's all there is.  If you want to see Carey Mulligan or Michael Fassbender in a porno, then this movie is for you.  If you are looking of something else (or anything else), I would sneak a peek at it when it comes out on cable in the privacy of your own home.  Rating one out of five airplanes.

Ten Movies I Definitely See In 2012

It is never too early to start planning a year of movie watching.  Here’s ten that I will definitely catch this year:

Underworld Awakening:  One of my favorite actresses, Kate Beckinsale, is back and kicking human and werewolf booty while wearing skin tight leather.  What could be better?

The Hunger Games:  I have a friend who is friends with Jennifer Lawrence.  I feel like we are almost cousins.

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones reunite for Men In Black III.  Caution, there is a time travel element in this film.

Christian Bale returns in The Dark Knight Rises, which is rumored to be the last in the Dark Knight series.  I know that Batman will never die.

Neighborhood Watch was filmed near my neighborhood.  I will give Vince Vaughn another shot.

Resident Evil:  Retribution:  Mila Jovovich battles the Umbrella Corporation, again, and I never get tired of it.

Paranormal Activity 4:  I have been told that I don’t possess the fear gene, but PA 1-3 gave me the yips.  Confession - 1 made the hair on my arms stand on end and in 3 I remember thinking “I don’t want to be here anymore.” (I didn’t wet my pants).

Red Dawn:  Simply because I loved the original.

Because Part 1 made my 2011 top ten list (which I caught a lot of crap over), I would be remiss if I left The Twilight Saga:  Breaking Dawn Part 2 off my list.

Peter Jackson finally makes peace and brings us the long awaited The Hobbit:  An Unexpected Journey.

Vampires, werewolves and zombies all make the list.  Three hot selling books made into movies appear.  A comedy and a superhero somehow snuck on there as well.  Overall, I would say that the theme still runs dark.  Lots of characters dressed in black battling the forces of evil.  2012 looks to be a good year at the movies.  (Note:  a couple of films that I will attempt to avoid this year are The Expendables 2, The Avengers and anything 3D).

THE DEVIL INSIDE - #1-2012

  

Just caught my first movie of the year.  The Devil Inside starring Fernanda Andrade and Simon Quarterman.  Filmed in a genre that is near and dear to my heart, found footage, the title tells it all.  Mommy has a devil, or four, inside.

Unlike many works in this genre, this film did not appear constrained by locations.  We see shots of the Vatican, a car wreck and a mental institution.  In all, I would say at least 20 locations.  Compared to a Paranormal Activity which felt limited to three or four, this feature seems wide open.

Director William Brent Bell makes good use of these locations and does some fine work.   Perhaps a little to much use of static riddled displays and video jump camera tricks for my taste.  The abrupt ending left the audience asking what the f**#, literally.

Where the film falls short is not in its execution, but in the subject matter itself.  Exorcism is a played out sub-genre (at least until someone has a new and brilliant way of presenting it).   For now, there’s only one way to do an Exorcism:  I suspect that mommy has a demon in her, but I want to visit her in a mental institution anyway.  Better bring along a priest or two packing plenty of crosses and holy water.  The little bugger knows my deepest darkest secrets.  The demon contorts and levitates the poor wretch until the priests cast the demon out.  But that red tailed troublemaker has to go somewhere - a priest, the cameraman or maybe even a daughter.

Back to my point on a new exorcism presentation.  Remember when zombies were super slow stalkers.  The sub-genre just fizzled.  Then along comes 28 Days Later and its rage virus.  Suddenly, zombies were scary fast.  The sub-genre is resurrected and even has its own television show, The Walking Dead.

Who will come up with the next big idea and turn this exorcism thing on its ear?  I don’t know, but for now I’m pretty luke warm on the brain eaters.  For my first review, I will give The Devil Inside two of five airplanes.  

Ten Great Movie Ideas That Failed To Deliver

Have you ever heard a movie title or watched a trailer and thought “what a great idea?” Here is my list of ten movies from 2011 that sounded like sure winners and why they came up short in the theatre:

Limitless: A pill that makes your brain bigger, fantastic! Except that the dude just uses his newly found powers to beat Wall Street - a feat that some other dude had already accomplished.

Sucker Punch: Should have turned up the heat to an R rating. The age old problem, a stripper loses herself in dance - I think - because I never see it.

Cowboys & Aliens: This movie had all of the star power in the world and still somehow fell short. Maybe it is because only bad guys lived, or perhaps I didn’t like the way Olivia Wilde seemed to be lurking in the back of every shot.

I Am Number 4: There always seems to be a problem when you skip numbers. Remember Leonard Part 6? A quick note on the casting. The two main actresses, Dianna Agron and Teresa Palmer (#6) looked to much alike - is that too picky?

In Time: Justin Timberlake.

Friends With Benefits/No Strings Attached: Justin Timberlake/Ashton Kutcher. Not since Armageddon battled Deep Impact have two movie concepts been more alike. What went wrong? Both of these films garnered an R rating, but were soft on the adult content. You either must make the choice to step down to PG-13 or raise a few eyebrows with your R. Can’t the studio executives take a page from the Hangover, Bad Teacher and Bridesmaids play book - all three of these rated R films smoked Justin and Ashton at the box office. In the Hangover, don’t we get to see the guys completely hungover? Don’t make an adult movie about casual sex and then hide the sex under the covers. Especially when your two A-list actresses, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, just had pretend hot lesbian sex together in Black Swan.

Source Code: Time travel. I didn’t pay enough attention in school to figure out time travel. So, they somehow got into a guys brain that had been incinerated in a fiery train crash, raided a memory from the charred remains and Jake Gyllenhaal (also mangled) rides it back to 8 minutes before the inferno. OK - I just hate seeing Michelle Monaghan in danger.

The Dilemma: Let the friend find out the old fashion way - divorce papers! Fake muscle car are like Tofu - no taste.

Apollo 18: A creature can't enter a space suit without creating a hole. A hole equals decompression, which in turn equals death. I am tired of the space spider monster - how about something that at least looks intelligent like intelligent? When you are in space, a trillion miles from home and things start to go wrong - go home.

Overall, a down year at the movies, but they were oh so close.

In Defense Of Twilight

When a blog reaches such grandiose heights as mine (now up to 7 followers), I should expect to ruffle a few feathers.  Such is the case with my ever so bold move of placing The Twilight Saga:  Breaking Dawn Part 1 on my top ten list for 2011.  The firestorm erupted at lunch when a now ex-friend of mine cracked on Twilight.  He peppered me with the hundred or so films that he would have placed above Breaking Dawn. Horrible Bosses, Friends With Benefits, No Strings Attached and The Dilemma spewed from his lips.  

I didn’t look at the 2011 box office numbers until after this lunch – and the numbers are irrelevant to me anyway.  But I thought it interesting to note that Breaking Dawn landed at number 5 on worldwide box office chart, racking in over $650 million.  No other film on my list made the top 10 at the box office for 2011.  Breaking Dawn is a sequel and you come to expect certain things from sequels.  Breaking Dawn is what it is and it is done very well.

During our exchange, my frenemy admitted that he watched the entire Twilight series.  What was there to Breaking Dawn besides a wedding, a birth and Bella’s transformation into a vampire, he asked?  My point exactly!  Fans of the series have been waiting for this wedding, the birth and her fangs from day one.  Now that it has been delivered, he is apparently disappointed.

The truth is, I am not the biggest fan of Twilight. I don’t write fan letters to Kristin Stewart. I have never considered which camp I’m in, Edward or Jacob (nor will I). However, the bottom line is this, I can’t justify bumping Twilight from my list for any of the movies that traitor named - Ashton Kutcher - you are kidding right. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 remains firmly intrenched in my number 9 spot.

TOP TEN MOVIES OF 2011

By my count I watched 83 movies at the theatre in 2011. That’s approximately $830 in movie tickets and another $750 in concessions - and worth every penny. Here are my Top Ten Theatrical Movies of 2011 that I actually saw in the theatre:

1. Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
2. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
3. Paranormal Activity 3
4. Super 8
5. War Horse
6. The Help
7. Warrior
8. The Ides of March
9. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1
10. Battle Los Angeles
10a. Columbiana
10b. Hanna

Unfortunately, three movies on my list are sequels and my #1 is a remake of the Swedish version.

Eat your hearts out fanboys: no The Green Hornet, Sucker Punch, Thor, X-Men: First Class, Green Lantern, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Captain America: The Last Avenger or Conan the Barbarian - and believe me, I suffered through all eight.

The animated movies that I watched - Gnomeo & Juliet, Mars Needs Moms!, Hop, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Smurfs, Puss in Boots, Hugo and The Adventures of Tintin - were all sleepers, and I don’t mean in a good way.

My list lacks humor as well. The Dilemma, No Strings Attached, Just Go With It, Cedar Rapids, Hall Pass, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Rodrick Rules, Your Highness, Bridesmaids, The Hangover Part II, Mr. Poppers Penguins, Bad Teacher, Horrible Bosses, Zookeeper, Friends with Benefits and Jack and Jill all had star power, but failed to deliver the punch. Of these, it was somewhat difficult to keep The Hangover Part II off of my top ten list. However, the film was a little too formulaic to break in.

My favorite acting performances of the year:

Actor: Aaron Eckhart, Battle Los Angeles
Actress: Rooney Mara, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Supporting Actor: Daniel Craig, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Supporting Actress: Elle Fanning, Super 8 (No not Viola Davis, The Help - but she will take home Oscar)

My surprise movie of the year: The Help. I had an extremely low expectation going in, but it landed at number 6 on my list. I must work on my low opinion of chick flicks in general, which brings me to my biggest disappointment of 2011: Bridesmaids. I didn't want to see this movie, but after millions of people (chicks) told me how great it was, I had to check it out. NOT FUNNY!

The worst movie I saw this year had to be Jack and Jill. A stupid premise coupled with actors doing just enough to collect a paycheck equals poor cinema.

I tried to avoid 3D this year, but theatre schedules make it impossible. I ended up seeing about a dozen 3D flicks. Maybe my 3D spectacles are just not working properly. Maybe my feeble brain can’t process all of those extravagant graphics. Or maybe, 3D just stinks!