Have you ever heard a movie title or watched a trailer and thought “what a great idea?” Here is my list of ten movies from 2011 that sounded like sure winners and why they came up short in the theatre:
Limitless: A pill that makes your brain bigger, fantastic! Except that the dude just uses his newly found powers to beat Wall Street - a feat that some other dude had already accomplished.
Sucker Punch: Should have turned up the heat to an R rating. The age old problem, a stripper loses herself in dance - I think - because I never see it.
Cowboys & Aliens: This movie had all of the star power in the world and still somehow fell short. Maybe it is because only bad guys lived, or perhaps I didn’t like the way Olivia Wilde seemed to be lurking in the back of every shot.
I Am Number 4: There always seems to be a problem when you skip numbers. Remember Leonard Part 6? A quick note on the casting. The two main actresses, Dianna Agron and Teresa Palmer (#6) looked to much alike - is that too picky?
In Time: Justin Timberlake.
Friends With Benefits/No Strings Attached: Justin Timberlake/Ashton Kutcher. Not since Armageddon battled Deep Impact have two movie concepts been more alike. What went wrong? Both of these films garnered an R rating, but were soft on the adult content. You either must make the choice to step down to PG-13 or raise a few eyebrows with your R. Can’t the studio executives take a page from the Hangover, Bad Teacher and Bridesmaids play book - all three of these rated R films smoked Justin and Ashton at the box office. In the Hangover, don’t we get to see the guys completely hungover? Don’t make an adult movie about casual sex and then hide the sex under the covers. Especially when your two A-list actresses, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, just had pretend hot lesbian sex together in Black Swan.
Source Code: Time travel. I didn’t pay enough attention in school to figure out time travel. So, they somehow got into a guys brain that had been incinerated in a fiery train crash, raided a memory from the charred remains and Jake Gyllenhaal (also mangled) rides it back to 8 minutes before the inferno. OK - I just hate seeing Michelle Monaghan in danger.
The Dilemma: Let the friend find out the old fashion way - divorce papers! Fake muscle car are like Tofu - no taste.
Apollo 18: A creature can't enter a space suit without creating a hole. A hole equals decompression, which in turn equals death. I am tired of the space spider monster - how about something that at least looks intelligent like intelligent? When you are in space, a trillion miles from home and things start to go wrong - go home.
Overall, a down year at the movies, but they were oh so close.
Friends With Benefits/No Strings Attached: Justin Timberlake/Ashton Kutcher. Not since Armageddon battled Deep Impact have two movie concepts been more alike. What went wrong? Both of these films garnered an R rating, but were soft on the adult content. You either must make the choice to step down to PG-13 or raise a few eyebrows with your R. Can’t the studio executives take a page from the Hangover, Bad Teacher and Bridesmaids play book - all three of these rated R films smoked Justin and Ashton at the box office. In the Hangover, don’t we get to see the guys completely hungover? Don’t make an adult movie about casual sex and then hide the sex under the covers. Especially when your two A-list actresses, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman, just had pretend hot lesbian sex together in Black Swan.
Source Code: Time travel. I didn’t pay enough attention in school to figure out time travel. So, they somehow got into a guys brain that had been incinerated in a fiery train crash, raided a memory from the charred remains and Jake Gyllenhaal (also mangled) rides it back to 8 minutes before the inferno. OK - I just hate seeing Michelle Monaghan in danger.
The Dilemma: Let the friend find out the old fashion way - divorce papers! Fake muscle car are like Tofu - no taste.
Apollo 18: A creature can't enter a space suit without creating a hole. A hole equals decompression, which in turn equals death. I am tired of the space spider monster - how about something that at least looks intelligent like intelligent? When you are in space, a trillion miles from home and things start to go wrong - go home.
Overall, a down year at the movies, but they were oh so close.
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